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Facing denial, notably when it occurs frequently, is far from pleasant. Someone is declining your work, delivering a firm “Nope.” As a writer, I am familiar with rejection. I started proposing articles half a century past, just after completing my studies. Over the years, I have had two novels turned down, along with book ideas and many short stories. During the recent two decades, focusing on commentary, the rejections have only increased. In a typical week, I receive a rejection every few days—adding up to more than 100 times a year. In total, denials over my career exceed a thousand. At this point, I might as well have a advanced degree in handling no’s.

However, is this a complaining rant? Not at all. Since, finally, at the age of 73, I have accepted rejection.

In What Way Have I Accomplished It?

A bit of background: At this point, almost everyone and their relatives has said no. I’ve never counted my acceptance statistics—doing so would be deeply dispiriting.

As an illustration: lately, a publication turned down 20 pieces in a row before saying yes to one. A few years ago, at least 50 book publishers declined my book idea before one gave the green light. Subsequently, 25 literary agents declined a project. An editor suggested that I send my work less often.

My Steps of Setback

When I was younger, all rejections hurt. I felt attacked. I believed my creation being rejected, but me as a person.

Right after a piece was rejected, I would start the process of setback:

• Initially, surprise. What went wrong? Why would these people be ignore my skill?
• Next, denial. Maybe they rejected the mistake? Perhaps it’s an mistake.
• Third, dismissal. What do editors know? Who made you to hand down rulings on my efforts? You’re stupid and your publication stinks. I refuse this refusal.
• Fourth, irritation at them, then frustration with me. Why would I do this to myself? Am I a glutton for punishment?
• Subsequently, pleading (often seasoned with delusion). How can I convince you to see me as a once-in-a-generation talent?
• Sixth, depression. I’m not talented. Additionally, I’ll never be successful.

I experienced this over many years.

Great Company

Naturally, I was in fine company. Accounts of writers whose books was at first rejected are legion. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. The novelist of Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Nearly each famous writer was first rejected. If they could persevere, then possibly I could, too. The basketball legend was dropped from his school team. The majority of American leaders over the past six decades had been defeated in campaigns. The filmmaker claims that his script for Rocky and bid to star were declined numerous times. He said rejection as an alarm to wake me up and get going, instead of giving up,” he has said.

The Seventh Stage

As time passed, upon arriving at my senior age, I reached the final phase of setback. Peace. Today, I better understand the multiple factors why someone says no. To begin with, an publisher may have already featured a similar piece, or have one in the pipeline, or be thinking about a similar topic for another contributor.

Alternatively, unfortunately, my idea is of limited interest. Or the reader feels I lack the credentials or standing to succeed. Or isn’t in the field for the wares I am submitting. Or was busy and read my submission hastily to see its quality.

You can call it an realization. Any work can be rejected, and for numerous reasons, and there is almost nothing you can do about it. Many rationales for rejection are always beyond your control.

Manageable Factors

Additional reasons are within it. Let’s face it, my pitches and submissions may from time to time be ill-conceived. They may lack relevance and resonance, or the idea I am attempting to convey is not compelling enough. Alternatively I’m being obviously derivative. Or an aspect about my writing style, notably commas, was unacceptable.

The point is that, despite all my years of exertion and rejection, I have succeeded in being published in many places. I’ve published several titles—the initial one when I was 51, the next, a personal story, at older—and in excess of 1,000 articles. These works have been published in magazines large and small, in local, national and global platforms. My first op-ed appeared when I was 26—and I have now written to many places for 50 years.

Yet, no blockbusters, no book signings publicly, no spots on talk shows, no speeches, no prizes, no big awards, no Nobel Prize, and no Presidential Medal. But I can more easily accept no at 73, because my, humble accomplishments have eased the blows of my frequent denials. I can now be thoughtful about it all now.

Valuable Rejection

Rejection can be helpful, but when you heed what it’s trying to teach. If not, you will likely just keep interpreting no’s incorrectly. So what insights have I gained?

{Here’s my advice|My recommendations|What